Epinions Recent Reviews for scott29

I sense something ... a presence I've not felt since...

Fri, 3 Jun 2005 06:56:05 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - I'll admit it: I have no idea how to open this review. Do I recount the numerous ways in which the two previous "Star Wars" chapters ("The Phantom Menace" & "Attack of the Clones") have been unjustly savaged by fans and critics alike? Do I profess my...

It's not every day you can say "...and David Schwimmer as The Giraffe!"

Mon, 30 May 2005 08:55:02 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - We've now reached the point in the CG cycle where we no longer ask "Is it as good as Pixar?" The new question regarding computer animation movies is "Is it better than Shark Tale?" And considering that "Madagascar" is the next CG family comedy from...

You'll see it for Ferrell; you'll see it again every Christmas.

Sat, 27 Dec 2003 12:10:44 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - The Christmas regulars are well-discussed and well-adored by movie fans of any religion: It's a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, A Christmas Story, Christmas Vacation, and (in my house anyway) Scrooged. Good movies that manage to tap into the...

Dumb hotties get sliced up by freaky cannibals. Period.

Sat, 27 Dec 2003 12:06:44 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - Toss "The Hills Have Eyes", "Jeepers Creepers" and "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" into a chintzy blender and you get "Detour" (a.k.a. "Hell's Highway"), a low-rent and entirely derivative horror pastiche that offers just enough of the gooey good stuff to...

Sags in the middle, but still one helluva boat ride.

Sat, 27 Dec 2003 11:53:32 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - So what we have here is a big, sweeping and majestic "adventure drama", one that's made for grown-ups who enjoy subplots and character development. Which also means that it's not in any way the mega-kinetic action extravaganza that the commercials are...

A loud and zany gift to movie freaks - from Hollywood's biggest movie freak

Sat, 27 Dec 2003 11:50:12 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - I'm about to break one of the cardinal rules of film criticism by mentioning a film's opening weekend gross in my review of "Looney Tunes: Back in Action". The opening weekend gross was pretty dire, and it's pretty much a foregone conclusion already that...

This movie that sucks will make lots of bucks. There, I rhymed.

Sat, 27 Dec 2003 11:47:02 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - Movies are made by professional filmmakers. Actors, producers, directors, screenwriters, etc. All of these people have seen a LOT more movies than has the average person. One could even say they're "experts" where motion pictures are concerned. And I...

The Hebrew Hammer: Jewish Comedy Lesson #32: Adam Goldberg is Funny; Adam Sandler is Not

Wed, 24 Dec 2003 09:21:14 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - Hoo boy was I schpilkas to see this one. See, I am a Jew - and one who loves to poke a little fun at his own religion. What's more, I'm a Jew who considers Adam Goldberg one of the coolest and most obscenely overlooked "Oh, I know that guy..." actors on...

The complete and total opposite of a Wonderful Life.

Wed, 24 Dec 2003 09:14:14 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - Even the most cynical of bastards love a little something about the Holiday Season. It could just be the silly songs or the happily bustling malls, but after a while (say like, two weeks before Christmas actually arrives) it starts to get a bit grating...

Similar in many ways to Dances with Wolves...only much better.

Wed, 24 Dec 2003 09:07:26 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - Of course the whole "stranger in a strange land who learns to embrace and eventually defend his newly adopted homeland" concept is not a particularly new or unique one. Kevin Costner won a boatload of Oscars for his politically topical "Dances with...

This is not the Eddie Murphy I choose to remember.

Wed, 24 Dec 2003 09:00:41 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - Back when Eddie Murphy was still young, brave and beholden to nothing but the rules of effective comedy, he offered some schtick about how he'd never be stupid enough to spend a night in an Amityville-style haunted house. Remember that joke? It was...

I've simply run out of adjectives.

Wed, 24 Dec 2003 08:54:45 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - What Peter Jackson and his crew of filmmakers have accomplished with Chapters 1 and 2 of his "Lord of the Rings" trilogy is simply unprecedented. Combine the fiscal bravery of New Line Cinema with the unwavering commitment to Tolkien that Jackson and Co...

It's like an action movie that uses conversations instead of guns

Wed, 24 Dec 2003 08:46:23 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - Heroes and villains. Good vs. Evil. Black and white. That's how the story goes in most movies. This is not necessarily a bad thing; we need Darth Vader to be evil and it's important that James Bond is immortal. But when a movie aims to venture forth into...

Big, loud, expensive, flashy...intelligent? Heck, I'm sold! Bring on X3!

Sun, 18 May 2003 19:48:27 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - Savor these comic book movies while they're still fresh and exciting and produced by people who actually give a wet crap. Sam Raimi loves comic books and his Spider-Man clearly indicates that. Bryan Singer also clearly knows his stuff, as it must be a...

HEY WANNA WATCH MY HOME MOVIES? THERE'S BARE BOOBS!

Sun, 18 May 2003 19:45:58 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - What a contemptible and unengaging experiment THIS turned out to be. Given the massive popularity of TV shows like Survivor, Blind Date and The Real World, I'm surprised it took a crew of talentless hacks this long to try and exploit the silver screen...

Say goodbye to that old Eddie Murphy we used to love so much.

Sun, 18 May 2003 19:43:00 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - Again we're forced to re-learn this hoary old movie rule: kids will laugh at anything. Jamming a paper-thin concept with simplistic pratfalls intended to make children giggle is a pretty lazy way to make a movie. But Daddy Day Care is even worse than...

The best 1960s comedy released so far this year.

Sun, 18 May 2003 19:38:43 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - For the most part, I loathe any modern film defined as a "romantic comedy"; not because I'm a cold and callous guy but because most of these movies are lazy and pedantic and poorly veiled vehicles for whatever rich lady may be the current Big Multiplex...

Buckle your seat belts and bring your thinking caps!

Thu, 15 May 2003 15:27:36 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - Riding a stunningly huge wave of pre-release hype, massive fan base expectations, and a heaping handful of early-buzz detractors, the 20 million ton sequel that is The Matrix Reloaded has finally settled into the multiplexes…and damn if it’s not...

Yet another action/adventure, sci-fi, romance, dream sequence anthology.

Thu, 27 Mar 2003 06:27:38 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - How cool it would be to have the ability to climb into other people's dreams! Imagine the fun you could have, to say nothing of the lifetimes you could spend pilfering the dreams of someone like Hugh Hefner.

Of course, science fiction movies...

A thinking man's brain candy.

Thu, 27 Mar 2003 06:24:06 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - Since I'm such an astute (and lazy) movie critic, I find that I can sometimes write my reviews while watching stuff on TV. That plan lasted for about 15 seconds once "Tuvalu" started rolling.

Fully indescribable, but close to a pastiche of...

A biopic that deftly avoids the usual tiresome gimmicks

Mon, 24 Mar 2003 22:45:46 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - One of the better biopics of the past few decades, Luis Valdez' "La Bamba" does a glowing service to its inspiration. Perhaps otherwise destined to be remembered as a talented footnote in musical history, Richie Valens is immortalized for the masses in...

As a song, it's awful. As a movie, it's almost painful.

Mon, 24 Mar 2003 22:42:51 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - Forgotten by millions of smart people is that fact that the late 1970's brought moviegoers about a half-dozen flicks based on trite country tunes. 'Convoy' is pretty bad; 'Take this Job and Shove It' is even worse; this one's the freakin' pits.
...

Stunningly drab, particularly considering the word 'mania' is in the title.

Mon, 24 Mar 2003 22:40:38 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - When a movie ends and the most pressing thing in your brain is the word "Huh?", odds are that you just watched either A) a normal bad movie, or B) a movie as stunningly bad as Blood Mania. Advertised as both a garish horror film and a jolting mystery...

French gal from Better Off Dead gets naked! You know you're interested.

Mon, 24 Mar 2003 22:37:56 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - Are my eyes playing tricks on me, or did I just watch a virtual remake of the wholly awful Two of a Kind (yes, that monumental 1983 failure with Travolta and Newton-John)?

Plotwise, this one gives us an unhappy God who decides to judge...

Who ever knew graphic lesbianism could be some damn tedious?

Mon, 24 Mar 2003 22:35:20 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author scott29 - Ever notice how lesbians in soft-core horror movies just kinda BOB up and down and never really DO anything? No? Rent anything with the words "Seduction Cinema" on the cover.

Seems the folks over at Seduction Cinema have decided to forget all...