Epinions Recent Reviews for mattjoe

Gran Torino: Best Picture, Gran Torino

Sat, 3 Jan 2009 10:16:54 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - If Clint Eastwood doesn't win the awards for Best Picture and Best Actor for Gran Torino, it will be solely because the voters for those awards were too lazy to watch this movie. Gran Torino is currently only showing in select cities, if it is...

Aliens Vs. Predator-Requiem, They Got It Right!

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 00:39:54 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - For 4 movies: Alien 3, Alien Resurrection, Predator 2, and Alien Vs. Predator, the formula was there but the execution was poor, and I was left disappointed in lost potential every single time. For all those movies, it was like opening a Christmas...

Transformers: Transformers, Greatest movie ever that doesn't feature nudity

Tue, 3 Jul 2007 23:39:03 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - Transformers is a must see. You need not read any further, get your money, get out to your car, and go drive to the theater and see it. Do not sit at your computer downloading some pirated version, go to the theater now. If you're still here you...

The Terminator: Hunters and Killers? NO, Boredom and disappointment

Mon, 5 Mar 2007 23:19:49 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - Being a fan of all things Terminator, I had to see this movie which is billed as a digital comic. Digital Comic, what do you think of? I think of digitally created characters running around on the screen. No real actors, just everything done by computer...

So there's this guy who has sex with his daughter....

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 01:00:43 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - Like the great revelation that Soylent Green is made out of people, "it's people!" there we are at the end of OLDBOY and we find out the hero has been having sex with his daughter. His daughter! And strangely enough, it seemed OK. OLDBOY is the...

I Pity the fool who don't see Rocky Balboa, I pity him!

Mon, 1 Jan 2007 02:16:08 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - Anyone who was ever a Rocky fan at any point in the Rocky series should see Rocky Balboa, even if you hated Rocky 5, and didn't care about the franchise again. Rocky Balboa rewrites the legacy of the Rocky films and wraps it up and leaves you feeling...

Arrrgh! The Censor Pirates Plundered Me Porno!

Mon, 14 Aug 2006 23:33:02 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - Have you ever watched a XXX movie for the plot, skipping the sex scenes, and enjoyed it? If so, this is the movie for you. If you'd prefer to do just the opposite of above, then run far away from this scurvy sea story. This R rated version of...

Boobs; for the sake of Boobs

Mon, 6 Mar 2006 00:23:12 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - How can you pass up a movie entitled "Womb Raider"? Honestly. You know you can't, and the only reason you have so far, is because I haven't told you about it yet. And you know you aren't going to watch it anyway, so I'm going to tell you all about the...

Have You Been Given Less Than 6 Months To Live?

Mon, 27 Feb 2006 23:04:41 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - If you have a terminal disease, such as Pancreatic Cancer, the bird flu, mad cow disease or are suffering in the last stages of the Ebola Virus, bleeding to death through all orifices and your pores, but you really need a phone, buy yourself this Vtech...

The worst Piranha movie ever

Sat, 10 Sep 2005 23:43:30 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - It truly amazes me that this movie was released in 2005. It looked like it must have been filmed 20 years ago, or perhaps it was just filmed on someone's cell phone that also takes movies. This movie is so bad, I feel bad for the DVD discs that were...

Alien vs Predator is it worth seeing?

Sat, 14 Aug 2004 00:37:10 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - This film takes two of the best "monsters" from the past 20 years and pits them against one another. In so doing, the film follows the legacy of the later films in both franchises. Lower budgets, films striving for an audience with the result being...

Song of Susannah, Stephen King's Dark Tower continues

Thu, 1 Jul 2004 00:24:21 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - Roland continues on his quest to the Dark Tower in Song of Susannah, the sixth book in the series. The story is finally beginning to finalize, and the books have come out close together this time, as part five was just out a few months ago, and...

Wolves of the Calla, Steven King's Gunslinger returns for the 5th time

Thu, 3 Jun 2004 19:16:20 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - For fans of Stephen King's Gunslinger Roland, and the Dark Tower series they can breathe a sigh of relief and say, Finally! The latest installment of The Dark Tower series is here. The Dark Tower Series is one you'd want to start at the beginning from,...

Bury this DEEP underground, then build something over it

Fri, 7 May 2004 23:02:52 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - The Underground Comedy Movie is generally advertised late at night. I was introduced to the ads for it probably on Comedy Central late one night between watching ads for Girls Gone Wild, and some silly infomercial on Penile enlargement pills set up like...

Totally Wasted Boobs! & A Hot Totally Nude Ghost

Thu, 11 Dec 2003 22:31:46 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - I was seduced into renting Jane Street by the following description on netflix: "Kim is enjoying hot sex with her married boss when their affair becomes risky. When Kim begins having a violent reoccurring nightmare where a woman is murdered, she becomes...

Boobs, Drugs, Poo & Breast Milk

Thu, 4 Dec 2003 23:28:37 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - Fans of JACKASS and Steve-O will not be disappointed by the latest Steve-O video, Don't Try This At Home 3-Out On Bail. Steve-O takes full advantage oh his arrest on drug smuggling charges and pretty much chronicles his adventures on his Don't Try...

Piglet's Big Movie? How is this BIG?

Fri, 19 Sep 2003 01:56:46 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - Oh D-D-D-Dear. Winnie the Pooh and Piglet came and went from the movie theater to dvd faster than Pooh bear can eat a jar of honey. I must say, had I spent $8.25 to go see this movie in a theater, I'd be madder than a swarm of bees who have just had thei...

Terminator 3, he told us he'd be back

Wed, 2 Jul 2003 01:15:36 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - 19 years after a very low budget film called "The Terminator" catapulted Arnold Schwarzenegger into...

GIRLS GONE WILD: Doggy Style! drunken naked girls & Snoop Dogg, Fo'Shizzle!

Tue, 1 Jul 2003 00:56:00 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - The late night advertisement for Girls Gone Wild goes a little something like: Wait till you see wha...

Lieberman can't ban JACKASS

Thu, 7 Nov 2002 20:41:35 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - Despite the outrage of the bigoted self righteous, JACKASS The Movie has been an enormous success over the country.

Is this a statement of the decline of our civilization or a rebellion against societal norms and restrictions placed on us...

Sweet, Sad November

Tue, 30 Jul 2002 02:56:29 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - Not to be forgotten off the list of tear jerker movies, is Sweet November.

Sweet November stars Keanu Reeves and Charlize Theron. Now, if you're watching this, you kind of have to have an open mind that this could actually happen, otherwise, you're...

Goldmember, I love Gooooold!

Mon, 29 Jul 2002 13:08:56 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - Austin Powers continues his world saving escapades in "Austin Powers in Goldmember" or, does he?

The premise of Goldmember has Austin foiling the plans of Dr. Evil. or perhaps, it is Austin watching the film version of his story in Steven...

Truth, Beauty, Freedom, and most importantly, Love

Wed, 17 Jul 2002 04:24:34 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - When I think Moulin Rouge, I think of the hit single from Moulin Rouge, "Lady Marmalade" from a year ago with Pink, Lil' Kim, Mya, and Christina. It's a fun, upbeat party type song. It's happy.

After watching the film Moulin Rouge, my thoughts...

I play with my balls here

Fri, 5 Jul 2002 23:42:22 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - I've recently begun whacking my balls around more often. Where I do this mostly is a nice little par three golf course located in Warren, RI.

A par three course means it is a small course. This is a good thing, as walking around all day...

2002 MINI Cooper: MINI Cooper S does the S stand for Sexy or Stupid?

Tue, 2 Jul 2002 14:52:51 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author mattjoe - A MINI Cooper S showed up where I hang out recently, and everyone seemed in awe of the little car. Convinced that this car was the most foolish car since the YUGO, I had to go see what the big deal was myself.

The love of the MINI Cooper seems...