Epinions Recent Reviews for jsommersby

More Wings, Please

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 18:04:25 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - After doing four years in the soap opera The Young and the Restless, the great Wings Hauser contributed a scary, sensational, show-stopping turn as the psychopathic pimp Ramrod in the 1982 Los Angeles crime thriller Vice Squad. Positively...

It's a Killer Lamp, I Swear!

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 13:00:46 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - I hold out very little in the way of hope of convincing anyone that the TV-movie Amityville 4: The Evil Escapes offers up a worthwhile time, but such is surprisingly the case. Superior to the inept original, not as scary as the second, more lively...

Arnie vs. Armani

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:55:08 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - For those who still doubt Arnold Schwazenegger’s acting ability even though he's always instilled semblances of humaneness and decency into most of his roles without going overemotive on us, the horror-action extravaganz
a
End of Days...

Another Big Apple Serial Killer

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 12:51:35 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - The serial-killer thriller Eyes of Laura Mars is scary while not exactly nerve-jangling, smoothly put together yet plagued by more than a couple logic loopholes, well-acted yet populated by quality thespians more or less too good for their...

Hoary Hauer Star Vehicle

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 13:14:02 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - In the terminally dull Wanted: Dead or Alive, Rutger Hauer gives what must be the most somnolent performance ever by an actor in an action-hero role. As Nick Randall, a third-generation bounty hunter who lives in a giant L.A. loft, has enough guns...

Stallone vs. Hauer

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 14:34:56 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - It’s really a shame that the action-thriller Nighthawks is such a shambles in the screenplay department being that the workmanlike direction, acute editing and superb performances prove themselves highly virtuous with star Sylvester...

Three Episodes of Hit-and-Miss Horror

Fri, 6 Nov 2009 15:05:06 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - The made-for-Showtime horror anthology Body Bags is far from breathtaking stuff, but for those hungering even for some semi-enjoyable stuff of this genre it’s perfectly passable. Maestro filmmaker John Carpenter is our guide: He amusingly...

Another Madsen Mediocrity

Thu, 5 Nov 2009 16:46:44 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - In the middling serial-killer thriller Sacrifice, the talented Michael Madsen disappointingly gives another of his run-of-the-mill, lazy performances that hasn’t so much as a whisper of either effort or ingenuity. After finally breaking...

Clunky Courtroom Thriller

Tue, 3 Nov 2009 16:01:47 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - I can’t say that the psychological thriller Jagged Edge is ever boring anywhere in its entirety, but it’s far from intelligent stuff and hampered by a faulty screenplay possessive of many logic loopholes that seriously mar its...

A Great Incentive for a Vasectomy

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 17:59:33 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - Written and directed by Penelope Spheeris, the ultra-low-budget Suburbia pretends to explore its central subject -- that being the ‘80s punk-rock crowd of displaced teenagers with terrible home lives holed up in a dilapidated abandoned house...

Oh, It's a 'Pain' Alright

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 13:54:49 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - The so-called comedy Labor Pains is such unredeemable, IQ-insulting garbage that I can’t imagine even the few remaining die-hard Lindsay Lohan fans out there even remotely tolerating it. For a sometimes-appealing but limited actress who...

Fox + Werewolf = Good Entertainment

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:03:09 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - In the sweet, spirited, endearing high-school comedy Teen Wolf, Michael J. Fox is indelibly appealing as Scott Howard, a seventeen-year-old who's tired of being "average" in the eyes of his peers. Son of a widowed hardware-store-owner father, best...

A Rare American Remake That Really Works

Sat, 3 Oct 2009 16:17:37 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - Despite its shortcomings, Vanilla Sky emerges as a worthwhile entertainment, the risky type almost guaranteed to turn off the masses and win over only a few. Essentially, it functions as another one of those morality plays where a materialistic...

A Classic, Ingratiating Sex Comedy

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 15:11:38 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - Unlike most of Zalman King's soft-core sex flicks (the Red Shoe Diaries series; Wild Orchid) Vivid (re-titled Luscious for home video) is solid filmmaking, with an interesting story and three-dimensional characters. I know, I...

Primarily Substandard but Secondarily OK

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 19:11:05 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - Considering the expensive non-coupon-applied pies of Domino's, Pizza Hut and Pizza Inn, the underdog franchise Pizza Patron makes for an alternative just as long as one realizes that with this...

The Heat Chamber: As Tantalizingly Torrid as a Popsicle

Fri, 4 Sep 2009 10:01:09 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - If you're depressed and looking for something in the brain-dead garbage department to send you even further into a mental abyss, look no further than writer/director Mark Norberg's The Heat Chamber. Shot on the cheap for just under a...

Perfect Sunday Afternoon Entertainment

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 14:10:22 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - The Sum of All Fears doesn’t have enough going for it in the way of imaginative writing, directing, and acting to make it anything worthy of high praise, yet it isn’t bad, either. It’s passable entertainment that’s neither...

Too Art-Conscious and Empty-Headed

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 18:39:35 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - The superfluous Blood Simple is certainly a visual feast for the eyes -- set in a mostly blue-collar Texas town mostly at night where the main hangout seems to be a country-western bar, the colorful neon signs are so garishly lurid they’re...

Comfortable and Affordable

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 10:01:32 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - If one is willing to shell out a fair amount of moola for a laptop computer, then one, it reasons, should also be willing to do the same for the carrying case that will be housing it while being transported, yes? The main question that arises is whether...

Make Another 'Rambo' Instead, Sly!

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 18:52:27 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - Poor Sylvester Stallone. After his box-office stamina started to considerably wean after his back-to-back 1993 successes Cliffhanger (passable) and Demolition Man (extraordinary), he was reduced to having his serial-killer thriller Eye...

Gore Bore

Sat, 8 Aug 2009 18:07:07 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - The remake of George A. Romero's 1978 masterpiece Dawn of the Dead, which involved a group of four humans taking refuge inside a huge shopping mall from a horde of flesh-eating zombies and still boasts the greatest opening sequence of all-time,...

Basically Blows

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 12:24:35 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - The best thing one can say about John McTiernan's Basic is that it's better than John McTiernan's Rollerball. Of course, being that Rollerball was a thoroughly incompetent cinematic turkey, the fact that Basic is superior to...

Go With Double Dave's Instead

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 16:46:48 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - For those unwilling to unload a good ten dollars on an overpriced Italian pie at Pizza Hut, and if you're out and about and don't feel like going home and plopping a cost-saving pre-made one into the oven (the SureFine brand offers damn...

The Little DVD Player That Kinda Can

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 13:04:20 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - The Polaroid PDV-0700 Portable DVD Player isn't necessarily the greatest thing since the all-you-can-eat-fajitas special at The Wild Turkey in Dallas (shameless plug, I know), but for its acceptable $149.99 price tag, it succeeds in...

"...the only reason this city's here is because they built it with bullets!"

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 11:35:51 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author jsommersby - Kurt Russell's galvanizing performance as a corrupt Los Angeles policeman is the only reason to get involved in the substandard crime drama Dark Blue. It's based on a short story by best-selling author James Ellroy, whose novel L.A...