Epinions Recent Reviews for cowboydj

Valium; Rich Husband Sold Separately

Thu, 22 Nov 2001 21:51:08 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author cowboydj - If you want to know a person's true character, mother always said, look at their shoes and fingernails. They will tell you all you need to know in an instant.

Attempting to be clever, and wanting for once to prove her wrong, I searched my mind...

Brother, Can You Spare a Prostitute?

Tue, 31 Jul 2001 21:48:11 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author cowboydj - There are a lot of musicians I like, some that I admire, a select few I adore, but only one that can call me a "fan": Debbie Gibson.

Just kidding. If George Michael sang the yellow pages in Swiss-German accompanied by bagpipes, tree frogs, and...

Jenny Craig Gold Membership: I Can Believe It's Not Butter

Thu, 5 Jul 2001 14:25:08 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author cowboydj - Though I am quite certain never to be mistaken for Fabio, it gives me considerable satisfaction that the bronzer-stained Barbie-blond beefcake gets to eat neither beef, nor cake, on anything approaching a regular basis.

Moreover, considering...

Atkins Diet: Why Fat People Are Stupid

Mon, 28 May 2001 03:32:15 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author cowboydj - For proof of this, I offer the following paraphrase of comments overheard during my years as the poster child for Lane Bryant:

"After all, I mean, like fat people are fat because they're lazy and stupid. If they weren't lazy, they'd be getting...

Outdoor Life Magazine: Why I Believe in Forced Sterilization

Sat, 5 May 2001 01:27:54 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author cowboydj - In one of his earlier attempts to "parent" me into "manhood," I was rudely awakened at 0'dawn-hundred by my father, who handed me a red & black buffalo plaid flannel shirt and informed me I was to get dressed.

I looked at the shirt with...

Sunset Magazine: Zip-Loc Freezer Bags and Why I Love California

Sun, 20 Aug 2000 15:55:09 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author cowboydj - Balmy beaches, majestic mountains, spectacular sunsets... whatever.

Zip-Loc Freezer Bags? Now there's a reason to move out West.

After being switched at birth by a very bitter Prince Rainier, who not only wanted a girl, but a...

Billboard Magazine: PPPD: Pocket-Protector Personality Disorder

Thu, 13 Jul 2000 10:43:36 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author cowboydj - It could just as easily have been Dungeons & Dragons or Star Trek, but as luck would have it my personal experience of Pocket-Protector Personality Disorder (PPPD) manifested itself as an unnatural obsession with the pop music charts instead,...

L.A. Fitness: Studio 54 meets Hee Haw--in HELL.

Sun, 2 Jul 2000 22:13:17 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author cowboydj - Best friends since high school, Tera had stuck by me through thick and thicker, party to the many hair-brained schemes I dreamed up to hasten my dramatic metamorphosis from fat adolescent nerd into thin adolescent adult.

Well,...

Never heard of it, Vol II: Wilcox goes "Home Again"

Mon, 26 Jun 2000 04:29:01 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author cowboydj - David Wilcox is far and away the most brilliantly talented songwriter of his generation, end of story.

And chances are, you've never heard of him.

It's not often that I am given to making such sweeping statements, but I am perfectly...

US Weekly Magazine: How US Magazine Brought Me Closer to God.

Sat, 17 Jun 2000 21:20:25 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author cowboydj - It is not often that I am at a loss for words.

More to the point: I am never at a loss for words. (If you've endured the misfortune of reading any of my other Epinions, this ought be abundantly obvious.) So imagine my shock when paging...

Sea World California: Mommy, the big scary bald man pushed me!

Sun, 4 Jun 2000 02:08:40 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author cowboydj - There is just something about training a fish to perform that is so.....

...California. In the great Disney tradition of squirrelly mice and bird-brained dogs, Sea World had cast the otherwise marginal marines into Ziegfeld's Fish Follies,...

National Geographic Traveler Magazine: Why I don't watch Porn Movies

Mon, 8 May 2000 14:42:48 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author cowboydj - Sad but true: It seems the good folks at the Burundi Chamber of Commerce have decided to moth-ball the "Martinis and Mud-flaps" party bus, which formerly carried revelers to the famed Mukalata Mud Flats; this due to lackluster sales and some...

Who needs all that nasty enamel anyway?

Mon, 6 Mar 2000 08:29:45 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author cowboydj - Teledyne has finally won the war against plaque and gum disease with a solution so simple, it boggles the mind to think we've overlooked it for so long.

With regular use, this ingenious device rapidly erodes tooth enamel, removing the surface...

The Atlantic Magazine: Yuck! What the- -aw, geez, I drooled on myself again!

Sun, 30 Jan 2000 12:45:18 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author cowboydj - There's a very good reason why the "Atlantic Monthly" can invariably be found in crisis centers and psychiatrists' waiting rooms across the country: it's the literary equivalent of washing down a half-dozen Quaaludes with a bottle of...

"Mom, Dad...you better sit down..."

Fri, 28 Jan 2000 22:50:57 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author cowboydj - Contrary to his father's amusing lyrical double-entendre, Rufus, as it turns out, is distinctly not a "tit man."

For those not familiar with folk-artist Loudon Wainwright's irrepressible song, the birth of Rufus prompted Wainwright's...

Los Angeles Magazine: Where AM I?? And who put all these little SOCKS on my TEETH??

Thu, 27 Jan 2000 06:07:17 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author cowboydj - Eons and eons ago, when Madonna was still a virgin, my mother made good on a threat to ditch upstate New York (and my father) for the golden shores of Southern California, attracted by its total lack of snow and the fact that it was as far away from her...

Psychology Today Magazine: It'll Make Your Inner Child Curl Up and Pray for SIDS

Fri, 21 Jan 2000 05:16:48 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author cowboydj - A long time ago in a land called Xanadu, when white guys with Afros roamed the earth and everybody was so trashed on cocaine that polyester seemed like a good idea--Psychology Today was a scholarly, respectable digest of current trends in psychological...

Frank Sinatra Blows a Gasket

Sun, 16 Jan 2000 11:22:51 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author cowboydj - George Michael's first full-length solo album in nearly six years, during which time he fought an ugly breach-of-contract battle with Sony Records, endured the death of his lover, and publicly vented his frustrations with fame, reflects these difficult...

Royal Caribbean Legend of the Seas: Why Shirley Jones and Hugh Hefner never did the "Wild-Thing."

Fri, 24 Dec 1999 18:12:09 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author cowboydj - (IMPORTANT NOTE: The cruise ship referred to in this Epinion is not this one, but the "Song of America," one of RCCL's oldest ships. It is not listed, and I placed my review here because this ship is the most similar to the one I was on. Most...

Rio All-Suite Hotel & Casino: It's like Carmen Miranda on acid, dude!

Tue, 7 Dec 1999 11:11:07 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author cowboydj - My brother, a regular Vegas high-roller, asked me if I wanted to tag along on one of his recent jaunts to Sin City. "Wouldn't it be easier if you just mailed them a check?" I inquired. "You'll still lose the same amount of money, and we...

Martha Stewart Living Magazine: Mouthpiece for the Mob: The Martha Stewart Story

Sat, 4 Dec 1999 00:18:03 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author cowboydj - So she can be a little difficult, if you believe the gossip. You'd be a little difficult too, if you had to spend your day folding napkins into swans, baking shrimp-puffs, and managing 300 high-strung gay interior designers, all re-e-e-ally bitter that...