Epinions Recent Reviews for brando814

Kill Bill Volume 1: A bloodbath that resonates more than you'd expect

Tue, 14 Oct 2003 05:45:18 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - When the first line of a film is "Do you find me sadistic?" One hopes that the viewer knows instantly what exactly they are getting themselves in to. The answer Mister Tarantino is a resounding yes, your movie is indeed sadistic but gleefully so, done in...

One more reason why my daughter will watch Whale Rider

Thu, 9 Oct 2003 05:16:52 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - Dearest Daughter, One day you shall find this letter and as you set out to follow your dreams and make your way in this world you may find yourself wondering what advice it is that I have to give. There are very few things I can tell you and they are...

Chicago's dope: Peter Berg's The Rundown

Wed, 24 Sep 2003 23:11:01 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is never going to be able to escape his legacy of wrestling hero or aspiring football superstar as evidenced during the opening action setpiece of The Rundown in which his character Beck comes to collect a gambling debt ow...

Once Upon a Time in Mexico: Another Rodriguez well runs dry: Once Upon A Time In Mexico

Sun, 14 Sep 2003 15:09:54 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - Usually director Robert Rodriguez's everything and the kitchen sink approach to filmmaking has a higher success rate than it does in Once Upon A Time in Mexico, The first two Spy Kids films were admittedly great and I enjoyed El Mariachi and Desperado but...

Eli Roth's Cabin Fever

Sun, 14 Sep 2003 15:02:52 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - In this, the year of the horror film, we have three characters who have hidden within them the capacity to kill. First, we have May Canaday (Angela Bettis: May) who resorts to slaughtering in order to build a perfect friend. In 28 Days Later we get Jim wh...

Kick butt, look sexy, be empty

Fri, 27 Jun 2003 16:23:05 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - Like most sequels, Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle doesn't seem to be trying very hard. It's got kun...

Nowhere to go but down: Naomi Watts in The Shaft

Thu, 26 Jun 2003 05:38:13 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - What would possess a talented actress like Naomi Watts to lend her beautiful mug to a movie like The...

Patrick Lussier sinks his teeth into another terrible movie: Dracula II: Ascension

Wed, 18 Jun 2003 07:14:08 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - As if we hadn't already had enough of a bad thing, Dracula II: Ascension is visited upon us like a p...

No dumberer than you imagined it would be

Sun, 15 Jun 2003 05:13:33 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - There are times, not very often mind you, when Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd reach a subli...

Death, desolation and the importance of family: Danny Boyle's 28 Days Later

Sat, 14 Jun 2003 14:59:14 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - Director Danny Boyle's film opens with widespread rioting and the release of a caged monkey from an...

X-2 needs a heart transplant but the adrenaline is working just fine

Sun, 4 May 2003 18:48:53 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - I'm having a trouble admitting this to myself but I am now going to proclaim it in public I think Daredevil is the better comic book film of the year. I'm not a comic book reader but I love movies based on comic books, they excite me, they move me and...

Love hurts

Fri, 2 May 2003 03:03:51 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - I've never seen David Gordon Green's debut film, George Washington but I like this movie and I like the way the man says what he has to say. I also like Paul Schneider, this film's lead who also worked with Green on his debut film. Schneider is...

Doesn't break the mold but it doesn't suck either

Sat, 12 Apr 2003 14:32:15 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - Being a twenty-one year old male I couldn't be any farther from this film's junior high school girl demographic so with that in mind I offer up a few pieces of information to help you understand why exactly I decided to watch this fim: 1) I saw Glitter...

Adam Sandler still doesn't have it back in Anger Management

Fri, 11 Apr 2003 06:06:42 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - Let me start out by saying that I did not laugh once during Anger Management. I did not laugh but I wondered what parts of this movie could have been better utilized for a more entertaining one. The denizens of the anger management therapy group that...

Bend It Like Beckham kicks cliches all over the place

Sat, 5 Apr 2003 00:26:16 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - The ingredients for a good movie are there, every cliche in the book is there as well. There is no law stating that a good movie cannot be made of overly familiar elements, film is like old shoes in that respect they may be well worn but they are...

Vin Diesel does the whole revenge thing

Wed, 2 Apr 2003 01:35:16 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - A Man Apart is a solid enough action picture on it's own terms, but the director F. Gary Gray has a tendency to elevate standard screenplays into something sublime just through sheer artistry, if Friday wasn't graced with his solid directorial chops it...

Irreversible is worthy of it's superlatives

Sun, 30 Mar 2003 20:38:54 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - Taking a cue from 2000's Memento, in which a man with no short term memory tries to avenge his wife's murder, Irreversible tells the story of two men (Vincent Cassel and Albert DuPonteil) who avenge the rape and murder of their respective lover and...

Dreamcatcher is just another lousy alien movie

Wed, 26 Mar 2003 20:11:57 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - Admittedly well cast, the film adaptation of Stephen King's novel Dreamcatcher isn't nearly as bad as critics say. It's not very good, but it's not atrocious.

To the film's credit, stars Thomas Jane, Damian Lewis, Jason Lee and Timothy...

This is us... and we're walking

Wed, 26 Mar 2003 04:52:02 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - Gus Van Sant's latest film Gerry tells the story of two friends named Gerry who get lost in the desert on their way to a tourist attraction. So far this doesn't sound like the kind of movie that quickens your pulse and makes you want to bolt to the...

Crazy. beautiful and crazy again

Mon, 24 Mar 2003 20:39:16 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - You'd be hard pressed to find an actress less conniving and more radiant than Audrey Tatou, the adorable star of Jean Pierre Jeunet's Amelie. Tatou has a megawatt smile that could put Julia Roberts to shame, and her eyes twinkle with innocent mischief...

The Phone Booth as confessional: Joel Schumacher's latest finally sees the light of day

Fri, 14 Mar 2003 04:36:55 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - In the city of New York one of it's last remaining vestiges of privacy resides in the middle of a crowded street. That's right people- a phone booth. In Joel Schumacher's Phone Booth you don't just reach out and touch someone, it's a place where you can...

Reaching new levels of horrible: the disaster that is The Tuxedo

Thu, 6 Mar 2003 06:25:24 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - 16 reviews, huh. That's almost twenty people who have suffered through this debacle of a film and lived to write about it here at epinions. An average of three stars as well, that means at least twelve people were out of their freaking minds when they...

Contrived 2 the Bone: The tedious Cradle 2 the Grave

Sun, 2 Mar 2003 21:02:39 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - There is a part of me that I'm not proud to admit exists, but it has a soft spot for Steven Seagal's 2001 action opus "Exit Wounds", I had long been awaiting the day that Steven Seagal would break bones and heads again. It wasn't great, it was goofy but...

Kevin Spacey loudly proclaims "I SUCK!"

Thu, 27 Feb 2003 05:38:46 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - I'll admit, this has been a good year for movies. Either I'm getting less cynical in my old age or the movies are actually getting better, even the bad movies I've seen this year weren't quite horrible... until now. I suppose that has something to do...

The Devil and Mister Affleck

Fri, 14 Feb 2003 03:46:56 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author brando814 - Just so you know coming into this review. I'm not a comic book reader and I never have been much of one. The intent of this review is not to compare Daredevil in two different mediums and moan about changes they made and things they dropped the ball on...