Epinions Recent Reviews for anderclayton

Walking the Rails

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 21:19:31 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - When his best friend Henry dies, Finn just wants to be alone and, because he is a train enthusiast, the abandoned train depot that his friend has left him seems like it might work for that. After traveling to New Jersey and staying the night in the...

Every Night I Burn!

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 22:31:55 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - A few years back when I was in the Navy on a late night barracks watch at about two in the morning I watched a movie called Rapid Fire with my fellow watchman. It was still a new release that I'd waited a bit to watch and I was a more than a bit...

Chaos? Well, yeah. But not fun chaos. The bad kind of chaos.

Mon, 22 Oct 2007 06:49:33 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - OK. Take about a dozen assassins, point them at a drugged out waste of a target, then throw them in a really big opaque garbage bag with a few guns and shake them up. What do you have? This film. In looking for a solid action film to watch with a...

Bloody Boring

Fri, 19 Oct 2007 10:18:04 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - Take a reverse version of Insomnia, "The Diary of Anne Frank", vampires (Nosferatu / Underworld) and 28 Days Later, throw it all in a blender and maybe you'd get something like 30 Days of Night. Personally I'm a...

Ki--do- of ---ven

Sat, 6 Aug 2005 23:01:09 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - The biggest problem with Kingdom of Heaven isn't an odd one. Some might point out that Orlando Bloom isn't exactly the most hefty action hero around and they would be right. However he is coming along fairly well. Granted portraying a blacksmith...

Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Hellbound, Flesh-Eating, Subhumanoid Living Dead, Part 3: Night of the Day of the Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah...

Mon, 18 Jul 2005 03:38:24 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - Well, first off, a disclaimer. I received this film to review directly from the dude that produced it, Jim Riffel, it as a screener. Be aware that in concept this might color my reactions to it. Yada yada yada. Mostly the reason why I'm...

You Assassin, Me Jane

Tue, 14 Jun 2005 20:36:13 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - John and Jane Smith (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie) seem like a fairly ordinary couple. A two-person working family going through some marriage problems and seeing a counselor, in spite of some tension they seem to be a reasonably healthy couple...

What is the Sound of One Ball Juggling? Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith

Sat, 21 May 2005 19:22:18 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - I am a huge Star Wars fan. The first film* (together with Pete's Dragon) was one of the first movies that I watched when I was a kid. It is my favorite film with the second and third films rank second and third on my list (In order. Yes I...

Awww H E Double Hockey Sticks

Fri, 2 Apr 2004 20:28:46 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - I just caught this flick at a surprise midnight showing (surprise for me that is--Surprise! You are working until Midnight!) at my theater and I enjoyed it quite a bit. It did suffer from some of the problems that I expected it to suffer from but...

The Flesh-Eating Zombies Are Hungry!

Wed, 24 Mar 2004 09:17:55 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - Going into this film I wasn't expecting a whole lot beyond a standard slaughterfest sort of film. Having been disappointed by the last few horror film sequels/remakes (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Jeepers Creepers 2...) I have seen and not...

Cat, Hat, Splat Splat Splat SPLAT

Sat, 22 Nov 2003 16:32:25 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - When I was a kid I was a Dr. Seuss fan. I loved his stories. From Bartholomew and his ooblek to Mulberry Street, odd colored eggs mixed with a certain pork product ("Green Eggs and Ham"! Yum!), to running a bizarre circus, to... Well... "The Cat in...

Attack of the Thousand and One CGI Vacuum Cleaners

Tue, 4 Nov 2003 20:56:51 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - OK, first off I have to put out a few disclaimers. To Reload or not to Reload? I enjoyed the original Matrix but wasn't overwhelmed by it. Many of the concepts had been done already in books if not in films and the philosophical poi...

More Fun Than a Barrel of Divorce Lawyers

Sat, 11 Oct 2003 05:55:37 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - Meet Miles Massey, Divorce attorney extraordinaire, keynote speaker at N.O.M.A.N. (the national association for divorce attorneys). Mr. Massey is so successful that they teach classes based on his work and his (near patented) Massey prenuptual agreement...

Digital Ghosts? Evil Trespassers? Jimmy Joebob and His Snake Army? Nah Just Boredom.

Fri, 10 Oct 2003 04:37:59 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - There are perhaps half a dozen movies struggling to escape from this film. A couple are pretty decent, one is a horribly campy 'B' movie that might be a lot of fun, and the others are trash. The director decided to go with the latter sort. Scenario...

A Bit Perplexing

Sat, 27 Sep 2003 06:46:56 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - My brother would hate this film with a passion. It is one of those "bad things keep happening to people" sorts of films. You know the type. The ones where the main character (or characters) keep(s) getting drawn deeper and deeper into a whole mess of p...

It's All In Your Mind! (or is it?) CMW/O

Sun, 2 Jun 2002 05:23:24 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - The manicured lawns and smooth, plastic structure of the Insane Asylum welcome you into their clutches. Inside you are greeted by a wild-haired (but well-groomed), smirking head warden who grins happily as you struggle with the guards. After a brief...

Fun but Bulky Silent Adventure (Musketeer W/O)

Mon, 8 Apr 2002 03:43:30 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - Well, I haven't written any reviews in a while. I am still working on a number of them (most of them mentally) but the fact that I have only earned seven cents in Income Share since they started the IS only program has put a bit of a damper on my...

Don't Walk. Run, Hide from The Hidden II (Halloween Freestyle W/O)

Wed, 31 Oct 2001 21:15:46 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - When you do a sequel, there are positives and negatives. One of the positives is that in concept people will know what happened in the film beforehand. When you are doing the sequel to what might be termed a cult classic then this isn't quite as much...

A Study in How NOT To Make a Film.

Tue, 11 Sep 2001 22:01:27 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - Last Friday I was going to visit a friend of mine that works the Midnight shift. He wasn't awake yet (it was seven in the evening) so I decided to kill a bit of time and see a film. I had been warned away from this film by a couple of reviews on the...

When Evil S/M Buzzsaw Martian Barbarian Zombies Attack

Mon, 27 Aug 2001 20:00:07 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - The Matriarcal-lesbian-drug-addicted-armed-forces team up with the disaffected-minority-druggie-rebels to defeat the Sadomassochistic-MartianParasite-infested-Barbarian-hordes (who are armed with superbuzzsaw blades)!

Perhaps that was a bit...

Creeping Chiller

Wed, 22 Aug 2001 17:46:55 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - There are those movies that slowly creep up on you, where the suspense builds, giving you subtle clues that something is wrong, even though obviously everything is wrong, which start off quirky then proceed into the frightening, fracturing your...

Where are the punchlines?

Tue, 21 Aug 2001 17:45:26 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - In an effort to escape watching The Lawrence Welk show last Saturday night*, I decided to go out to the movies. After searching all over the place for a theater (boy they are closing down a lot around the Seattle area!), I finally settled on...

The Future of Science Fiction Films?

Fri, 10 Aug 2001 20:50:18 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - The future of films is nearly here in all of its stark reality. With the presentation of this summer’s film Final Fantasy film critics actually are starting to take animated films seriously. For the most part though, this means that they are able...

Demn Dirty Apes!

Wed, 8 Aug 2001 18:47:57 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - Boy.

If there ever was a poster child for choppy, somewhat coherent films (as far as theme goes anyhow), this one would be in the running. Trying to make sense of it really is pretty tough.

Basically the new Planet of the...

Lights, Camera...

Fri, 27 Jul 2001 20:30:07 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author anderclayton - Action, a beautiful woman, action, a handsome guy, neat special effects... Leave all of those unnecessary things such as story flow and character arc behind. Babes with guns, that's all we need... Sigh.

I entered the theater on the...