Epinions Recent Reviews for KingJFS

Fight Club: You are not your ****in' PS2 collection.

Sat, 4 Feb 2006 14:19:19 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - "The first rule of Fight Club is that you do not talk about Fight Club" Fight Club was in development at Genuine Games and VU Games for a little over a year and in all that time barely a single word about the title was revealed to the gaming...

Destroy All Humans! With One of the Funniest Games Ever

Fri, 2 Dec 2005 14:58:20 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - Thousands of years ago: After laying waste to the Martian civilization, the Furons land on Earth for supplies. There, they are greeted by hot Earth babes. Bow chicka wow wow. Sometime in between: Nuclear interstellar war causes the...

Lego Star Wars: Building My Favorite Star Wars Game Ever... Brick By Brick

Sat, 5 Nov 2005 17:54:54 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - I'm going to be honest with you, when I first heard about Lego Star Wars I thought it was a joke. I've known about Lego's very large and popular Star Wars line for years but for some reason a game based on it seemed just too far fetched. But as the...

Neo Contra: Konami Tries the 3D Thing Again, And it Works!

Sun, 25 Sep 2005 13:20:44 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - Konami's Contra series has almost become synonymous with 2D platform shooters. It became more true than ever after Konami revived the series as the 2D shooter it is after two failed attempts at 3D. But in this day and age, 3D gameplay seems to sneak it's...

Transformers: Transform and Rollout with a Good Transformers Game

Thu, 23 Sep 2004 17:00:02 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - It's almost redundant at this point to go into detail about the sorry history of Transformers games through the years. I've never understood why a big time Transformers game was never attempted. With the NES debuting in 1983 and Transformers coming to...

X-Files: Resist or Serve: The truth is... this game kinda sucks

Fri, 23 Jul 2004 17:35:44 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - It's almost hard to believe that this only the second X-Files game to be released for any platform. And the first game is almost completely lost to history because it was an obscure point and click game for the PC and PSone that didn't even let you play...

The Suffering: This One Time... On Death Row

Thu, 8 Jul 2004 17:06:11 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - Midway is no stranger to video game blood and gore. After all these years, I'm sure there's not a single person that can forget the anti-video game violence crusades that Mortal Kombat was at the center of. So here we today, in 2004, and Mortal Kombat...

Maximo vs Army of Zin: More Magical Underwear in this Good Sequel

Wed, 30 Jun 2004 12:10:23 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - The 3D remake is a delicate proposition. C: The Contra Adventure was an absolute disaster. Sonic Heroes was considered by most to be mediocre at best. But Maximo: Ghosts to Glory was something special. Like Super Mario 64, it was a completely perfect...

The Contra Adventure: Can We Blame Reagan For This Contra Debacle Too?

Sat, 25 Aug 2001 13:00:51 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - Somebody should really get a class action lawsuit going and sue Konami for false advertising. You see, C: The Contra Adventure was advertised as one game, and Konami has given quite a different one.

The game starts with the traditional Contra...

American Pie 2: Insert Your Own Generic 'Another Slice' Title Here

Mon, 13 Aug 2001 17:07:48 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - What can you really say about sequels? Bring back some or (if you're lucky) all of your original cast, add a few new faces, and up the ante of whatever genre you're working in. Horror: add more blood. Action: add more gunfire. Comedy: add more...

Planet of The Apes: I Went Ape

Mon, 30 Jul 2001 14:41:45 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - OK, so that title is totally and completely beyond lame. But that stupid little pun says everything you need to know about Tim Burton's "reimagining" of Planet of The Apes.

Forget the 1968 original for a minute, because all they really have...

Crossworlds: Not Just B-Movie Schlock, But Confusing B-Movie Schlock

Wed, 30 May 2001 14:56:22 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - B-Movie schlock is a true art form. The movie that is so downright terrible, that you actually start to enjoy it. Maximum Overdrive is my common example of movies that are so bad they're good. Crossworlds wishes it could be Maximum...

Pearl Harbor: USA! USA! USA! Part 2

Sun, 27 May 2001 14:12:51 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - The Summer Blockbuster. That seemingly empty void where we get the same movie over and over again, year after year. Well this year, it's Pearl Harbor.

Rafe (Ben Affleck) and Danny (Josh Hartnett) are two farm kids who want to be pilots. So...

Inspector Gadget: Go-Go-Gadget Pistol To Shoot Myself!

Fri, 18 May 2001 14:10:19 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - Oh my god! Where do I even begin? I was very reluctant to see this movie for a very long because I grew up watching the 80s cartoon religiously. So I was fairly content to bad mouth this movie based solely on the trailers. But then I figured, it's...

The Mummy Returns: Sequelitis Run Wild

Thu, 17 May 2001 14:36:34 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - The Mummy Returns has a bad case of sequelitis. You know, take everything about the first one and then make it bigger, louder, faster. Then mix well until it's a fine soup that is easily digested by the movie going public.

It's 10 years...

The Rage: Carrie 2 - I'm Raging After Seeing It

Fri, 27 Apr 2001 14:31:18 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - After Scream came out, a new wave of horror movies starting trickling out into theaters. And then it was a great flood, and now we're back to a trickle (with The Forsaken movieland's latest offering). But anyway, a lot of this new wave...

Spaceballs: "May the Schwartz be with you!" (Write-Off)

Sat, 7 Apr 2001 14:44:55 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - Mel Brooks is a comedic genius. The man has made Young Frankenstein, History of The World Part I and Robin Hood: Men In Tights. And here is his warped vision of sci-fi: Spaceballs.

Like all Mel Brooks movies, Spaceballs...

Super Mario 64: The 2nd Greatest Video Game Ever (The awoolcott Write-Off)

Wed, 28 Mar 2001 16:26:19 GMT
rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - October 1996. The video game world was forever changed that day. Super Mario 64 was released and unleashed upon the world the first truly 3D video game. Mario was in 3D, the Princess was in 3D, Bowser was in 3D. The whole world was in 3D, and it...

Fear Nothing: Don't Be Scared, It's a Great Book (Write-Off)

Wed, 14 Mar 2001 16:34:37 GMT
rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - Fear Nothing by Dean Koontz is a story told through the eyes of it's main character, Christopher Snow. And what eyes they are. You see, Christopher Snow has a rare genetic disorder called XP (the full medical term is something much longer). XP makes...

Mission To Mars: Lifeless

Wed, 7 Mar 2001 16:48:13 GMT
rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - Following in the footsteps of other very original Hollywood ideas like the asteroid movie (which gave us Armageddon, Deep Impact and a buttload of TV movies in a matter of weeks) and the volcano movie (which produced Dante's Peak and...

The Way of The Gun: Loses It's Way Too Often

Fri, 2 Mar 2001 18:01:36 GMT
rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - I went into this movie with unusually high expectations since it was written and directed by the guy (Christopher McQuarrie) who wrote The Usual Suspects, perhaps the finest movie in the last 10 years. Plus the trailer was really cool. But alas,...

Survivor Season One: Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue

Tue, 27 Feb 2001 14:00:53 GMT
rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - Adult language! Nudity! Never-Before-Seen Footage! For true "Survivor" fanatics it sounds almost too good to be true.

But there are limits on all these goodies. For one, the only adult language is from scenes that were bleeped on TV, now...

Dexter Freebish - A Life of Saturdays: Saturday is a Good Day

Tue, 27 Feb 2001 11:31:27 GMT
rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - Dexter Freebish may not be the most well known, but I'm sure you've heard some of their stuff on the radio. The first song "Leaving Town" is quite popular on Modern Rock radio stations right now and I know why. This song is incredibly catchy, has a...

Being John Malkovich: You Are Not a Beautiful Or Unique Snowflake (Anti-Valentine's Write-off)

Wed, 14 Feb 2001 18:43:37 GMT
rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - Being John Malkovich has been praised for the last year as "The most original movie in years." Now I'm not denying it was original, I've never seen anything like it in my life, but this originality didn't make it good, it just made it all the more...

Any Given Sunday: Football Good, Drugs Bad

Mon, 12 Feb 2001 12:36:41 GMT
rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author KingJFS - Any Given Sunday is not a bad movie, it's just a split movie. Yes that's right, it's really two movies. The first is a great football drama involving a team's quest to reach the Super Bowl (although you can't say Super Bowl because this movie is not an...