Epinions Recent Reviews for HaplessChild

Coast Inn Bed & Breakfast, OR: 20,000 Calories Near the Sea

Sat, 15 Sep 2007 14:13:27 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - A bed & breakfast is the Russian roulette of the traveler. At one location you would be walking into a beautifully kept home with the cosmic twin of Anthony Bourdain preparing your meal, and right down the road is a 99 year old couple with a spare...

Devious Gets a Girlfriend.

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 01:31:50 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - Underneath my strange exterior of serial killer fascination and hatred of romantic comedies, what I really enjoy for Valentine's Day is the trifecta of girldom: chocolate, Tiffany & Co, and stuffed animals. Just in time for this year's "greeting card...

Shari's Restaurant: They Really Want You To Try the Onion Soup

Sat, 10 Feb 2007 22:14:05 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - I can count on one hand the number of 24 hour restaurants in Portland. Shari's, a chain covering many western states, happens to be one of them. In the tradition of diners that have the "one name with an apostrophe" namesake, Shari's actually...

The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Pizza Baron!

Thu, 8 Feb 2007 22:36:55 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - As I understand it, Pizza Baron has been in the dilapidated brown strip mall on SE 122nd and Division since the dawn of time. The bizarre paintings of random ugly people playing various games on the outer wall have also allegedly been there for...

Best. Giraffe. Ever.

Wed, 7 Feb 2007 22:05:38 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - I w
rote
previously about being gifted with an overabundance of stuffed animal giraffe and how they are filed into one of two piles: The Closet of Forgotten Toys and my bed. What you didn't know dear readers, is that...

Yep. It's a giraffe. (You shouldn't have.)

Sun, 4 Feb 2007 17:16:35 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - It is amazing how people will really latch on to a theme when you say you are interested in something. I like giraffes, so I now have an overflowing closet of giraffe stuffed animals that all stare down at me like the victims of a serial taxidermist. It...

Gleaming the Sarcasm

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 02:55:35 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - Sometimes a film comes along that defines a genre. In the holy ground that is the "teenager with a skateboard seeks revenge" realm of motion pictures, there was no movie before or after Gleaming the Cube that aspires to great heights as it does...

Man Repellent

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 19:57:52 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - How does it smell? I have a Raggedy Ann and Andy scratch and Sniff book from the early 80’s that has a chocolate soup sticker. The scent is somewhere between brownie batter and coco butter. I am hesitant to inform you that whatever...

Oh, What a Tie-Dyed Web We Weave

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 20:51:35 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - Have you ever wondered what it would be like to watch a Greek Tragedy set in late 10th Century China? After dropping many hits of LSD? If so, Curse of the Golden Flower is for you. Yimou Zhang, director of Hero and House of Flying...

The Staring Contest

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 14:44:03 GMT

rating: 1/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - The downside to finding a movie you completely love is all of the recommendations people throw at you afterwards. Over time you start to feel a little tugging in your brain and you stop watching your favorite film and go looking for the siblings you...

The Dead Girl: Peripheral Vision

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 05:08:14 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - When you think of a serial killer film, often the images that come to mind are knife-wielding madmen with above average I.Q. The any-man, soaked in high contrast, quick cutting scenes and accompanied by foreboding music. The sinister cop in the surprise...

Sinful

Mon, 2 Oct 2006 16:26:43 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - Pride You cannot miss Pix as you travel from either direction on Division. The building is a bright red square on a street lined with muted colored houses and local businesses, and it is standing proud for all the world to see, yelling...

The Science of Sleep: Sweet Dreams

Mon, 2 Oct 2006 15:59:27 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - Attention day dreamers, lucid dreamers, and dreamy artisty types: they have made a movie for you that doesn’t involve Jim Henson. Science des rêves, La AKA The Science Of Sleep, is the latest offering from writer/director Michael...

Jet Li's Fearless: Tissue Required

Fri, 29 Sep 2006 16:12:48 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - I knew I was saying a goodbye of sorts, but I wasn't really prepared for the emotional overflow of Huo Yuan Jia, AKA Jet Li's Fearless. Ronny Yu, the director, is best known stateside for Bride of Chucky and Freddy vs Jason...

Edgefield: The Best Portland Getaway

Mon, 25 Sep 2006 15:07:20 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - McMenamins is a local company best known for purchasing old and abandoned buildings that are remarkable in some way, and converting them into hotels, pubs, and breweries. Edgefield, located just east of Portland in Troutdale, is a 95 year old...

Portland Pirate Festival: Arrrrggravation

Mon, 25 Sep 2006 13:33:13 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - Portlanders really love pirates, so it shouldn’t have come as a shock to anyone that the first ever Portland Pirate Festival would draw such a massive crowd. Held on the east bank of the Willamette river, in the dramatic under the bridge...

Haunted and Cheesy

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 15:13:05 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - You could blink and you’d miss it. Along Davis Street, just inside of China Town in Portland, OR is a small doorway. What looks like a hole in the wall pizza parlor is really a massive space, complete with two levels for dining, a full bar, and...

Don't Come Between A Boy and His Elephant.

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 15:24:32 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - Before stepping into the theater last night to watch The Protector, my cohort reminded me that, “Films like this aren’t about the plot; they are about the action.” That was a slightly disconcerting way to start a movie going...

JustMex

Fri, 8 Sep 2006 18:34:32 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - When you think of Portland, there really isn’t a unique food item that comes to mind. We aren’t famous for our pizza, or our hot dogs, and even if we consistently make lists of Best Vegan-Friendly Cities, our restaurants are not making much of a...

Trust the Man: You Can't Please Everyone.

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 04:05:50 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - Trust The Man is a film about two couples: David Duchovny and Julianne Moore are married with two children. Billy Crudup and Maggie Gyllenhaal play the slightly younger, but no less attractive, couple that has come to that sink or swim point in...

Snakes on a Plane: Caduceus (on a plane)

Fri, 18 Aug 2006 05:07:02 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - The release of Snakes On A Plane marks the culmination of an internet meme (or viral ad campaign- you decide) so out of control that the producers of the movie decided to reshoot certain portions of the film to give the masses scenes they hoped...

Oregon Museum of Science & Industry: Big shoes to fill....

Wed, 9 Aug 2006 19:58:06 GMT

rating: 4/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - OMSI bills itself as an interactive science museum for all ages, or to quote their website: OMSI puts the "WOW!" in science for the kid in each of us. It is always listed as a “must see” for visitors to Portland, especially those...

Now appearing at game night: Facts! And Crap!

Sat, 5 Aug 2006 17:25:14 GMT

rating: 3/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - Getting over it: You’ve got to give it to the makers of Fact or Crap; instead of trying to come up with some sly, witty play on words or tie their game into a cartoon character, they decided to go with something a bit more self aware...

AllBeds Online Store - allbeds.com: Sweet dreams are not made of this. (Hall of shame w/o)

Sun, 30 Jul 2006 19:04:15 GMT

rating: 2/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - The glass is half full. I’m not ready for Crate and Barrel material yet, but I do occasionally like a new piece of furniture. My trick for finding things at cheaper prices is to note the model name at some of the big retailer sites and...

Doin' that stuff that you do, messin' me up with your voodoo.

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 19:35:06 GMT

rating: 5/5 by: Epinions Author HaplessChild - Voodoo Doughnut is Portland's un-best kept secret, having now appeared on the Travel Channel, The Tonight Show, and Good Morning America. High on creativity, absurdity, and uniqueness, this Portland staple is a must-visit to travelers of Portland...